DO:- Encourage your child and give lots of hugs.
- Reward good behavior. Praise children and give extra attention when he or she does something right. Give a reward for good behavior.
- Children will copy your actions and words. Act and speak the way you want your child to act and speak.
- Be kind, but firm.
- Ignore some small problems or annoying behaviors. Bigger problems need to be corrected, especially if the child’s bad behavior might be harmful or dangerous.
- Be consistent. Always treat a bad behavior the same way, or a child will learn that he or she can sometimes "get away with it."
- Correct the child soon after the bad behavior occurs, but wait until your anger has passed. Count to 10 before you say or do something may help reduce your anger so you are in control of yourself.
- Make rules that are right for the child’s age. Rules work best for children who are school-aged. Younger children (infants and toddlers) don’t understand rules yet. They are still learning what a rule is.
- Use "time out" for children between 18 months and five years of age. Time-out may help correct bad behaviors like tantrums, whining, fighting, and arguing. To use time-out, put the child in a chair with no toys or TV. Don’t speak to your child during time-out. Time-out should last one minute for each year of the child's life. For example, a four-year-old should be in time-out for four minutes. Your child should be quiet for at least 15 seconds before time-out ends.
- Correct older children by taking away things they like (TV or video games, or time with friends).
- Remember to tell the child that the behavior is bad, but the child isn’t bad.
DON’T:- Don’t nag or talk about bad behavior too much. Children ignore nagging.
- Don’t try reasoning to get your point across to children younger than three or four. They won’t understand.
- Don’t criticize children.
- Don’t call children names.
- Don’t call children "bad." Only the behavior is bad.
- Don’t scold too often. Scolding makes children anxious and may make them ignore you. It may also worsen the behavior. Never scold your child during time-out.
- Don’t spank. Spanking teaches children that it’s okay to hit someone in order to solve a problem.
Where can I find more information about teaching good behavior to children?
Here are two books you might find at your public library or bookstore:Touchpoints: Your Child’s Emotional and Behavioral Development, a book written by T. Berry Brazelton. Published by Addison-Wesley Publishing Company in 1992. The chapter on discipline is very helpful (see pages 252-260).Parenting: Guide to Positive Discipline, a book written by Paula Spencer. Published by Ballantine Books in 2001.Article Courtesy of American Academy of Family Physicians |